Choke Me Daddy

Jacob Elordi allegedly got rough with a producer and everyone is seething with jealousy

We know how much most people would give to sip Jacob Elordi’s Saltburn bathwater—roughly $24.60—but how much would you give to have the man himself grab you by the throat?

If you’re a kinky self-hating gay like literally all of us here, the answer is—a lot! After news broke of Elordi being accused of roughing up a radio producer who asked for some of his Saltburn bathwater—again, relatable—the gays don’t know what to do with this information. Should we be shocked? Dismayed? Bemused? Horny? Some combination of all four? Who can say.

The incident occurred while the Australian hunk was back on home turf doing a segment on the Aussie shock jock morning show The Kyle and Jackie O Show, hosted by Kyle Sandilands and Jaqueline Ellen Lest. When one of the show’s producers, Joshua Fox, got in Elordi’s face, things got violent. Perhaps riled up by the often homophobic and tasteless Sandiland’s attempt to out Elordi on the show had something to do with it, or perhaps Elordi was simply fed up with having his privacy violated. Either way, we know an alleged assault took place.

There’s just one problem: we’d all like to be grabbed by the throat by Jacob Elordi.

Once again, not sure how to feel about this whole thing.

Violence is wrong, but if these people are basically the Aussie equivalent of the Joe Rogan Experience, it’s hard not to give the green light, frankly.

That producer f’ed around, and he f’ed out.

More as this very horny but also absolutely serious situation develops.

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