Gay men have long used markers like femme and masc to share their preferences when it comes to dating and hookups — but according to one user on TikTok, “masculine” is a misnomer for what masc-for-masc gays are really after.
“Here’s a tough pill to swallow: The gays that say they’re into masculine guys don’t actually mean that,” TikTok user Josh Morris said to kick off his video, then used himself as an example: “You can clock me by the way that I breathe, but there are traits about me that are, by definition, masculine.” (In the comments section, Morris clarified that some of his masculine traits include “having a beard and a dick.”)
“Nine times out of ten, what these people mean is that they’re looking for straight-passing guys,” Morris continued. “And I think people are reluctant to say that because you can hear the internalized homophobia a little bit louder when you use that term, but that’s really what they’re talking about.”
“Don’t get me wrong, everybody’s entitled to their preferences — but just say what you mean,” he concluded.
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Several commenters agreed with Morris’ theory. “Speak on it sis SPEAK 🗣️,” wrote one commenter.
“I feel… seen. 😅,” commented another.
A third said that they could corroborate Morris’ idea from experience. “I used to think I wanted a more straight passing guy when I was less comfortable with being gay,” they wrote. “Luckily, I’ve grown wayyyy more comfortable with it and I realized that was dumb. So yea you’re right.”
“Often times they don’t even want a straight guy, they want a caricature of a straight guy,” another commenter observed. “I know plenty of cishet straight men that are ‘too gay’ for some gays.”
Others pointed to the root of the problem, saying it’s just as much misogyny as it is internalized homophobia. “Their problem isn’t with gay men it’s with [femininity] and that is why gay guys want ‘masc’ because it’s [what’s] idealized by the patriarchy,” one commenter wrote. “It sucks.”
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