If you’re an ancient crone like myself, there’s a song from the Maid in Manhattan soundtrack that lives rent-free in your mind. I refer of course to Daniel Bedingfield’s (brother of Natasha) “If You’re Not the One,” which asks: “If I’m not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?”
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It’s basically a zen koan. And until this day, we’d never encountered anything quite as penetrating. But that’s what TikTok is for: presenting us with philosophical questions that even Daniel Bedingfield would find difficult to answer.
Consider one bear lover who recently came on our FYP with a very important question.
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“If I’m not meant to be pinned down and bred by a fat man double the size of me,” philosopher @TonyBearaloney asks, “then why does his belly fit so perfectly above my rear end?”
It’s a question for the ages, which didn’t stop commenters from chiming in with their own thoughts.
“Like it follows the curve of me spine so well, like puzzle pieces,” one sympathetic commenter stated. “The belly is a safety bar for the ride,” someone else explained.
Obviously this dynamic makes sense because it was meant to be. Honestly where was this argument back when heteros kept trying to claim gay sex was “not natural” or whatever? Tell that to the bear lovers!
“You’re doing us big boys a fine service,” one bear wrote in appreciation. Another commenter simply said: “I”m being read by my own fyp.” Yes girl…that’s what an fyp does. Drags you to the point of no return and then puts a piece of bear philosophy in front of you that’s so profound it makes your head fall off.
But it’s no surprise that the gays are completely dominating PhilosphyTok. After all…we kind of invented this sh*t.
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