It seems that Justin Timberlake simply can’t catch a break this year—which is fine by us! The man who got off scot-free for decades while greater talents like Britney Spears and Janet Jackson suffered extreme, unwarranted consequences is finally getting the comeuppance he deserves, and we’re thrilled.
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Britney Spears, comic genius.
But let’s get to the tea. What did he do this time? Well, basically he got a taste of his own medicine. Much like the famous 2004 Super Bowl incident, there was a wardrobe malfunction—but this time, Timberlake is on the receiving end of the mishegas.
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In a recent Nashville show, Timberlake’s d*ck in a box managed to be on display thanks to a poorly-fitting harness. Why was he wearing a harness, you might be wondering? Was he preparing to play the lead in a regional production of Peter Pan? Not to our knowledge.
Obviously word quickly spread, to the delight of every gay person who’s hated Justin since learning about him breaking up with Britney via text in “The Woman in Me.”
My wife: "So are you on Justin Timberlake penis harness TikTok?"
— Jason K Pargin, author (@jasonkpargin.bsky.social) December 19, 2024 at 1:26 AM
Britney had an entirely different story to tell about Justin’s junk—one eerily reminiscent of a Samantha plotline in Sex and the City. But today, that very same junk is making headlines for another reason.
The phrase “little bulge” has never found a more delicious use!
Now listen—peoples’ appendages come in all different shapes and sizes, and a small appendage is normally nothing to sneeze at. But this is Justin Timberlake we’re talking about! He’s been horrible!
I truly am not trying to body shame here, at all, but when I saw *that* photo of Justin Timberlake… A LOT of things suddenly made complete and total sense.
— Jordan The Grey (@jordanthegreywitch.bsky.social) December 19, 2024 at 9:26 AM
It’s a great day for people who love to see crappy men get the comeuppance they deserve.
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