Remember way back in the day (early February) where the strange people of Twitter decided to start talking about Roman towel boys? Well, the trend is back, and honestly it never should have left. There’s so much to say about Roman towel boys, and Ancient Rome, and by extension Ancient Greece, the gayest place to ever exist.

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What’s all this about Roman towel boys?

But it might surprise you to learn that folks aren’t talking about ancient Roman catamites because of the release of Gladiator II, or because of Italian model Gio Scotti, who inspired the first towel boy outbreak. They’re talking about it because *checks notes* a Trump voter told a group of young male Kamala voters that he would like to sexually enslave them?

That’s…sort of what happened. Let’s walk through it.

When Gen Z TikToker Harry Sisson posted to Twitter with his friends yesterday, he didn’t expect that an innocent “men for Kamala” remark would bring the boys to the yard. Sadly, that is exactly what happened. And the boys who arrived were…disgusting.

A man named Robert J. O’Neill promptly decided to quote tweet Sisson’s post, with the caption: “You’re not men, you’re boys. If there was no social media, you’d be my concubines.”

Wow. Where to begin! Much to unpack. For some reason, O’Neill seems to be saying that if there was no social media, it would be the Roman Empire, and older men like himself would be in age-inappropriate relationships with young men serving as their catamites, a common practice in Ancient Greece and Rome.

But wait…how the hell did he get there, and also…why?

It’s no surprise that George Takei himself showed up with the funniest response possible.

But wait! There’s more mess. O’Neill isn’t just some rando on the Internet. He is in fact the former Navy SEAL who claimed to have single-handedly brought down Osama Bin Laden.

So you can see why all of this is insane on several levels.

Nobody could have predicated that we’d get here, but somehow, we got here.

The memes are flying, and we’re grateful because if the memes weren’t flying we’d have to actually pay attention to the election.

We’ve said it time and again: straight people are not okay.

Every day something happens that even the Oracle of Delphi couldn’t have predicted. And that’s what gives 21st-century life such spice!

Friends, this has been an amazing ride from start to finish, and I’m glad we all got to suffer through it together.

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