Queer intimacy comes in all shapes and sizes, and requires different instruments for different tastes. None of this is news, but on TikTok, a few questions are being raised about the ethics of reusing a certain…tool.
“I’ve been seeing this TikTok trend of wlw couples being asked whether different things are cheating, not cheating but weird, or not cheating,” one redditor stated on a recent thread. “I’ve been SHOCKED at the number of couples who agree that using the same d*ldo/strap that they had in a previous relationship was cheating or at least weird??” they continued. “From my perspective, that’s MY d*ck lmao.”
Keeping in mind that many people have different definitions of what constitutes cheating, it’s an intriguing premise. Should folks recycle the strap? Does a strap become cursed the minute the relationship ends? Is there or should there be such thing as community strap?
Culture, unfiltered
Our newsletter will bring you the pulse of queer culture, from the tastemakers to the groundbreakers.
One commenter came in quickly with a crucial distinction. “As a general rule of thumb – ignore everything s*x related from tiktok,” the wrote. “The algorithm heavily promotes engagement above all else, which is why misinformation and divisive topics spread like wildfire.”
Fair enough: it’s possible that people aren’t actually having this debate and that it’s totally manufactured. But for the people out there who are curious, what is the general rule of thumb here. Or…rule of strap?
“Considering it cheating is a wild take to me,” one user wrote. “But I understand feeling icky about having a toy inside me that was also inside a stranger, no matter how well it’s cleaned.”
Related
Compulsory heterosexuality is not your fault.
“[T]o be fair I have had a ton of partners, no matter how clean the toy is, that are skeeved by the process of using a strap that I used with a different partner,” another poster agreed. “I think itโs more of the concept and less of STD risk imo.” Another stated: “Tbh if you like receiving strap and you know itโs something youโll want given the opportunity , you should have your own d*ldos. The wearer can provide their own harness or however they prefer to wear it.”
Makes sense. Another theory: “wouldnโt shock me if this whole thing was astroturfed by some s*x toy company to try to drive up sales for their products. It just doesnโt make a whole lot of sense to me.”
Anything is possible, obviously. Anything except giving a concrete answer to the question that’s been plaguing philosophers since the Enlightenment: to share a strap, or not to share a strap?
Sign up for theย INTO newsletterย and get your twice-weekly dose of stories that shape the queer experience, culture, and lifestyle.
