Is November too early for Pride merch? If you ask Walmart, the answer is apparently no. But before we go awarding the mega conglomerate ally status, it turns out the retailer has likely made a hilarious and very gay mistake, and it keeps getting gayer.
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When TikToker Chezaidan (@chezaidan) pointed out the new range of holiday merch on TikTok, the video quickly amassed over 20 million views. Multiple items, including a snow globe and a frosty lantern, feature a pair of cardinal birds nestled on wintry branches.
“I don’t think Walmart did the research on the difference between male and female cardinals,” Chez said in the video. “‘Tis the season to be merry and, uh… gay.”
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Like many birds, the common cardinal, native to North America, showcases strong dimorphism (physical differences between the sexes). Male cardinals sport bright red plumage with a black outline around the beak, whereas the plumage of female cardinals has a lighter greenish coloring.
So Walmart’s pairs of love birds, reproduced on who knows how many thousands of merch products, are undoubtedly homo for the holidays.
In contrast to the many hate campaigns against Pride merch in stores this past year, Walmart’s gay cardinals are enjoying a universally positive reaction online. Commenters were quick to join in on the festive cheer.
“Historians will say they were best friends,” said one.
“And they were nest mates…,” echoed another.
And it turns out, it’s not just cardinals that have been featured in secret gay merch. “The deer decor as well, two bucks together!” another commenter pointed out.
But all this time, we’ve been assuming the gay merch is unintentional. Even if it’s unlikely Walmart chose to sell undercover Pride merch for Christmas, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a gay merch designer working like a crafty little elf behind the scenes.
“My headcannon,” one commenter said, “is that the designer knew what they were doing and no one questioned it.”
But that’s not all: even though cardinals aren’t known for engaging in gay behavior, one Redditor from last year told fellow birders about a sighting of MLM cardinals. So it absolutely can happen! Cardinal homosexuality and bisexuality is real, if quite rare in the wild.
Homosexuality In Cardinals
byu/elf533 inOrnithology
Never let anyone tell you that cardinals can’t be a little bit fruity.
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