Beloved queer singer David Archuleta knows that coming out can be a years-long process. Archuleta initially came out as queer back in 2021, but on a new episode of Johnny Sibilly’s podcast Spill, he recently expanded on his sexuality.
“A lot of people be like, ‘oh you’re demisexual,” Archuleta told Sibilly. “And I’m like, you know what, I think I am.”
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Demisexuality refers to folks who tend to only feel sexual attraction to people they have a strong romantic connection to. While demisexual folks do tend to engage in sex with partners, their identity still falls on the asexual spectrum.
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In a recently resurfaced video, the “Good Luck, Babe!” singer why she connects with demisexuality, and it’s got her fans talking.
Archuleta isn’t the only one exploring his demisexual identity. Earlier this year, Chappell Roan spoke about her own demisexuality in an interview with lesbian podcaster Ashley Gavin. But even as more celebrities start to speak about where they fall on the asexual spectrum, we’re seeing some weird pushback from certain corners of the Internet.
Casual Ace/Demi erasure.
byu/Ardielley inasexuality
On Reddit, for instance, there are some folks who are taking Archuleta’s words as some kind of disavowal of his queer identity. Which, for the record, it’s not: you can be demi and queer, demi and ace, ace and queer, and basically any combination of queer and sexual (or asexual) identities. But since people are acting like idiots, let’s take this as a teachable moment.
To begin with, identifying as demisexual is not “silly,” nor is it a “fake” identity. Demisexual folks—who fall both within and outside of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum—simply have a different relationship to sexual attraction. It does not negate their queerness, which is something that shouldn’t need to be said in the year 2024, but here we are. The same goes for asexuality and gray asexuality (folks who are sometimes interested in sex and sometimes not), which for some reason people still feel fine hating on in broad daylight.
If you’re interested in learning more about the asexuality spectrum, here’s a guide that might help.
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