Ever since the Internet learned of a Timothée Chalamet-led Bob Dylan biopic in the works, we’ve been speculating hard. Is Chalamet the right person to play Dylan? Will he nail the weird accent? Most importnatly, do we really need another Bob Dylan take when we’ve already got Cate Blanchett in I’m Not There?
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When you’re covering a song, your own sexuality should go out the window. If that means you being gay for three minutes, so be it.
A Complete Unknown opens in theaters on Christmas Eve, but thankfully the reviews are already rolling in to help us answer some of these pressing questions. Those same reviews are also giving us maybe a little too much information. Information we never asked for, and which now haunts our dreams and nightmares. Because according to one Variety reviewer, Chalamet does something obscene to Bob Dylan and we were completely unprepared for it.
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I’m sorry…Chalamet did WHAT?
I hope he bought Bob a drink first
— wormbuxx (@wormbuxx.bsky.social) December 10, 2024 at 2:50 PM
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We didn’t know it was going to be that kind of movie, but okay…
A movie that had zero gay appeal is now looking…pretty darn gay!
“The words “the role of” have never been more missing,” one poster wrote. And yes, obviously this writer didn’t mean to imply that Timothée Chalamet slid effortlessly into the actual and literal Bob Dylan, without lube no less. But that’s exactly how the Internet is taking it, because at the end of a horrible, terrible, no-good year, we need laughs wherever we can find them.
It’s giving AO3, and we’re not mad at it.
It’s a case of accidental gayness on a Tobias Fünke level, and people are taking this moment to share every piece of Bob Dylan lyricism and lore that could possibly be interpreted as gay. Which is…a larger amount than you’d expect!
“This is ‘explore Chalamet’s chocolate factory and feast on it’ all over again,” one poster wrote, harkening back to last year, when a tweet about the release of Chalamet’s Wonka prequel went viral for it’s similarly ridiculous (and randy) wording.
Sadly, while Chalamet’s Dylan will probably do much (straight) sexual exploring in A Complete Unknown, there is no evidence that this movie will be at all gay or interesting. Which we knew. But isn’t it fun to pretend?
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