For the gays, getting quote-tweeted by one of the famous women we worship is the equivalent of winning the lottery. I mean, we live for them…can you blame us for getting excited when they throw a few delicious crumbs of attention back our way?
It’s time to put the stan wars to rest. In a new survey, gays have named their favorite pop culture icon of 2023.
Take, for instance, our hero of the day, an enterprising young man who tweeted about the time he sold his sperm just to get his hands on the then-new release of Charli XCX’s “Pop 2” on vinyl. Because when mother drops a new release, you better sell your firstborn to get it. That’s just gay math.
In response to a tweet about someone selling sperm to attend a Lana Del Rey show, user @skyferrori did them one better.
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Word travels fast, because by the next morning, the London Queen herself had responded in classic Charli XCX fashion.
Now we have only one question: where are these children, and do they know they’re pop royalty?
Now this, kids, is what we call a victory for the gays.
Who wins in the mother-off of the century? Only a grandmother, naturally.
The mothering on display here…honestly, give this woman a mother of the year award. Give her the grandmother of the century award. And for the love of god, *Glenn Close as Cruella DeVil voice* FIND THOSE GRANDBABIES.
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