In a rare record-scratch moment on live TV, a UK presenter has declared that he is “bisexual.” But before we go hoisting our magenta and royal blue flags, it turns out the mistake is just another example of how desperately the straights need education on queer identities.
On Thursday’s installment of Jeremy Vine, the titular host invited etiquette coach and author William Hanson on for a discussion on modern manners. During the conversation, Hanson remarked that he had noticed Vine is left handed.
“I think what people maybe don’t understand, etiquette has to evolve. It would be ridiculous if it was just trying to get people to do really quite antiquated things,” Hanson said. “And, of course, you are left-handed. I noticed when you were doing your drawing.”
Vine corrected him, but to viewers’ surprise, he did so through a wild tangent. “I’m bi — is it bisexual?” he asked.
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Clearly, what Vine meant to say was that he is adept with both hands. Without missing a beat, Hanson quipped, “I don’t know if you’re bisexual. Well, you could be! I don’t know, Jeremy. I think it’s ambidextrous.”
Vine, still searching for the word, carried on clarifying what he meant. “I can’t use both hands for everything,” he said. “I write left handed but I would play table tennis right handed. I think that might be ‘bidextrous.’ It’s really boring, actually.”
And, finally catching onto his own mistake, Vine said, “I’m not the same as bisexual,” to which Hanson agreed.
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The word that Vine was looking for was cross-dominant, sometimes called mixed-handed (and we can only imagine the gaffes that might have resulted from words like “dominant”). Slightly different from an ambidextrous person, who possesses equal motor skill in both hands, a cross-dominant person uses one hand for some tasks, another hand for others.
Needless to say, no, it has nothing to do with bisexuality. But at least Vine’s mistake is our entertainment.
The video of the incident, shared by X/Twitter user @scottygb, has quickly garnered thousands of views. “I hereby coin the term ‘ambisexterous’,” joked one viewer.
“Lads, don’t tell Jeremy Vines that you’re ambidextrous,” replied another. “He might get the wrong idea.”
And it turns out that getting queer identities wrong isn’t even the worst mistake that Vine made. “Everybody missed their cue,” said one viewer. “‘Bisexual? That’s not boring!’”
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