Oh Brother

Fans think they found another “clue” about Taylor Swift’s sexuality and it’s a real doozy

It seems that these days, poor Taylor Swift just can’t put a foot right when it comes to shutting down queer conspiracy theories. First there was that truly unhinged theory that Travis Kelce was being kept in the closet at her insistence, then there was that hilariously-photoshopped scissoring photo of the star making a loaded gesture towards former boygenius singer Julien Baker at the Grammys.

Yes, the Gaylor Swift conspiracy mill just keeps on churning, completely independent from the facts, the truth, or the reality of the situation. Because that’s what conspiracy theories do!

But the latest detail in the case is certainly an interesting one. After announcing her new album drop—The Tortured Poets Department, coming April 19th—at the Grammys, fans noticed something interesting about the tracklist. One song among the 16 is titled “Clara Bow,” after the iconic silent starlet and inspiration for the coining of the phrase “It Girl.” Although Bow being the inspiration for the song feels like a completely natural decision for Swift to make—Bow and Swift are perfect examples of “It Girls” of their time—fans went absolutely wild after discovering this tantalizing fact about Bow’s family tree.

Unlike most stars of the silent era, Clara Bow was actually born Clara Bow. Her real name ended up being the perfect stage name—that said, a look into Bow’s family tree reveals something more. Gaylor Swift truthers quickly learned that Bow had a grandmother with the maiden name “Gaylor.”

Needless to say, all hell broke loose after fans got a whiff of this hilarious coincidence. And now, they’re determined to make it anything but a coincidence.

Even when Taylor isn’t trying to tell us anything—she’s telling us something.

Why do we live in such a sick, sad world as this? Why can’t we stop laughing?

And for everyone who’s wondering—yes, that is a swastika on Clara Bow’s hat. And no, Clara Bow was not a Nazi—the swastika symbol long predates the Nazi party, and if you want to learn more about it, you can do so here.

Until the next unhinged piece of Gaylor “evidence” drops, we’ll be continuing our usual tradition of shaking, crying, laughing, and throwing up.

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