Coming out as a lesbian is a huge milestone and something worthy of celebrating. But after the post-coming-out glow has started to fade, you’ll be thinking about facing your next sapphic challenge: getting a gf.
So how does one go about it, especially if one might be new to the scene? Fear not: there are ways, and many of them don’t involve downloading another horrible app that’s guaranteed to make you feel worse about yourself and humanity.
According to trusted sapphic source and veritable TikTok sage @PoppyLaur, there are many ways to get boo’ed up that involve no swiping whatsoever.
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The first step, she explains, is putting yourself in a lot of “fruity spaces.” This could be a lesbian bar (though sadly those might be hard to find in more rural areas) or a cafe where you know that 70% of the employees are queer, or even your local anarchist bookstore. Or a girlinred show. Up to you!
“Literally sit down and think, ‘where do girl kissers hang out?'” She says. “Is it rugby? Is it flea markets? Is it a creative writing club?”
The next step is spending time in these places and “mak[ing] it known that you are a girl kisser.” How might one do this? Carabiners. Pronoun pins. Saucy little sleeveless graphic tees. A ring of keys. There are plenty of ways to signal to other sapphics that you’re one of the girls.
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“I always say, if you want to casually come out to people,” Poppy continues, “make some pop culture references. Reference an ex-girlfriend. Reference that time you went to Pride.”
All good notes. But the last and arguably most important step? “Make fruity friends,” she says.
“I know you want a girlfriend, and you have friends, right? But do you have fruity friends?”
It might seem like a lot of work, but it will pay dividends. “Fruity people attract fruity people,” Poppy explains, and if you’re in the community and you make it known that you’re single, you just might find that the other single sapphics are dropping the same hints and signals hoping to catch your attention.
“Once you do have your sights set on her,” meaning ‘the one,’ “the last step is to make the move.”
That’s right: the power is in your hands. So go off, fly free, and for the love of God, be fruity on main!
