I Don't Make the Rules

This inanimate object is our newest gay icon, because the Internet says so

In this community, we don’t choose our idols, our divas, our icons. They choose us. From Babs to Beyoncé to Britney Spears, the women we give our hearts and souls to claim our complete attention from the moment they show up on the screen, stage, or recording booth.

Which is why sometimes, the diva of the week comes as quite a surprise to us. That’s certainly the case today, as the gay Internet finds itself absolutely drooling over the divaliciousness of…a theodolite and tripod.

Now if you’re not a professional land surveyor, you might not know what the hell you’re looking at, and I’m here to tell you that that’s completely fine. Basically, this is a tool that helps surveyors measure angles to get a better sense of the land they’re assessing. But in the case of this particular object d’art…did it have to go so hard?

In New York, there’s a cultural imperative to show out from the minute you step out of your apartment, and this inanimate object is simply paying heed to that imperative. Extremely well, I might add!

And listen, don’t blame the gay community for simply shouting out the everyday slays of the natural (and unnatural) world. We didn’t choose this life!

Why didn’t the Village People include a land surveyor character?

She is beauty, she is grace, and like every great diva, she has her detractors…

But through it all she stands tall and shines bright…all for the glory of divadom.

We salute you, theodolite with tripod. You’ve made the world a slayer place today.

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