These gay theories about Barron Trump at NYU are wildly believable - INTO
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These gay theories about Barron Trump at NYU are wildly believable

Barron Trump, son of former US President Donald Trump and former First Lady Melania Trump, takes part in his graduation at Oxbridge Academy in Palm Beach, Florida, May 17, 2024. (Photo by Giorgio VIERA / AFP) (Photo by GIORGIO VIERA/AFP via Getty Images)

Bad boy for life Barron Trump just entered nepo baby heaven this week, aka New York University. We don’t know if he’s fully left his alleged bad boy activities—including potentially torturing and killing small animals and hitting his nanny—back in grade school, but we do know one thing. NYU is about to be the site of the littlest Trump’s radical gay awakening, if the Internet has anything to say about it.

We don’t know what a degree—well, let’s be quite realistic, a partially-completed Gallatin make-your-own-major degree—will do for a member of the Trump family who is allegedly already doing his best to match the rest of the family in awfulness, but we certainly can dream. And that’s just what the gays online are doing this fine morning.

https://twitter.com/wolktress/status/1831508647697842288

He will smoke parliaments.

This is the arc we want for Barron—but is it meant to be?

One thing is certain: he’ll never be the same again. Honestly, thank God for NYU turning baby warlords into harmless(?) musical theater majors.

We don’t know what a steady diet of gender studies classes and the Rent Original Broadway Cast Recording will do to this young man, but we can venture a few guesses.

The septum piercing really will be the death knell for whatever darkness lies in Barron.

The girls are predicting a feminineonenon.

https://twitter.com/bremfla/status/1831491066991919325

He’ll be unrecognizable in four years—we hope.


Henry Giardina (he/they) is the editor of INTO. He lives in Los Angeles. Past publications include the New York Times, The Believer, The New Yorker, The Paris Review Daily, The Atlantic, Film Comment, and Gizmodo. He is @punkgroucho on Twitter.