If you’ve opened TikTok in the past week, you’ve no doubt been met with the face of Pepe the King Prawn, a Muppet whose face has become synonymous with absolutely unhinged storytimes. TikTok users post Pepe and share the wildest things they’ve ever been through, all set to “Like a Prayer (Choir Version)” from Deadpool and Wolverine.
That includes RuPaul’s Drag Race icon and visionary designer Gigi Goode, who hopped on the trend to tell her followers about a chance encounter at a grocery store gone wrong.
“One time I went to Whole Foods to get some groceries, and as I was walking around I could feel a small presence watching / following me around the store,” Goode wrote in her TikTok. “I kept seeing this person out of the corner of my eye lurking around the end of each aisle, then disappearing when I looked up at them.”
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“His ‘only conclusion’ could be that he was ‘temporarily turned gay due to the attitude,’” explained a weary girlfriend in a viral post.
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“When I was finishing up in the Bread aisle, I turned my cart and was cut off by this small, sweaty man who just stared at me,” she continued. “After a minute, I asked if everything was okay. That’s when he said ‘you’re very beautiful. How does $5k a week sound to you?’ (?!)”
A sugar daddy proposition in Whole Foods? Sure, why not. But of course, a Pepe story can’t have just one bizarre plot twist.
“Right as I was going to respond, I pulled my hand out of my Cart and my ring got caught and flew onto the floor behind him,” Goode wrote. “Everyone, and I mean everyone in the surrounding area DOVE to get my ring, and caused such a commotion that one of them slipped & two of them bumped their heads and audibly said ‘ouch.’ Meanwhile, nobody knew what this man had just asked me.”
That’s when Goode dropped an iconic comeback: “Finally I got my ring back and before thinking I just patted the man on the shoulder and told him he couldn’t afford me,” she wrote. “Then I left my cart full of groceries, and drove to another Whole Foods 25 minutes away.”
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“You have to find someone to match your level, and you’re only gonna find that in another woman.”
Naturally, fans were obsessed with Gigi’s story. The power to not only be offered (and refuse) 5,000 dollars on the spot, but have an entire grocery store scrambling to hand you jewelry you dropped? Her comments section was in agreement: it’s queen behavior.
“GIGI YOU ATE THATTT,” wrote one commenter.
“The visual of this is badass af,” agreed another.
“I think you meant to say you dropped your crown👑 not your ring,” commented a third.
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