It’s a common refrain amongst the gays these days: “I fear.” It can lead off almost any sentence: “I fear I’m too tired to go out tonight,” “I fear I need to go out tonight,” “I fear I don’t remember anything from going out last night” — all valid uses! But one viral TikTok says it’s time to retire the phrase, especially given what the gays are actually afraid of.
In a video that’s garnered more than 193,000 views, TikTok user Jackson Logan pointed out the problem with the gays’ latest phrase.
“Dude, all these demon twinks, all of ‘em — ‘I fear! I fear this! I fear that!’” Logan said. “The f*ck do you fear? A healthy relationship? Monogamy? An IPA? Football season? A shirt that hasn’t been cropped? Yeah, trust, we know. We know.”
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Logan’s suggestions are truly terrifying — and given that October is just around the corner, they’re only fitting as spooky season takes its hold.
“I’ll tell you what though, folks: I don’t fear. No tengo miedo aquí,” Logan continued. “I hope. I admire. I aspire. I uplift. I encourage. I advocate. I brave.”
None of those verbs have quite the same ring to them, we fear, but Logan gets props for throwing out some new options — and for trying to prove that he doesn’t share in the demon twinks’ fear.
“You won’t find any fear here, let me tell you that,” Logan said. “You see these hands? They look like they shaking to you? No. ‘I fear’ — f*ck that!”
A few commenters did point out that Logan’s hands were, in fact, shaking while he claimed they weren’t.
“I fear that I might actually be the demon twink himself, apparently,” Logan said in a follow-up video. “That has been made abundantly clear today. Thank you everyone.”
Meanwhile, Logan’s speech earned him a few admirers in his comments section — though they didn’t take his advice of ditching the phrase. “I fear I just fell in love,” quipped one commenter.
“I fear you are my type,” commented another. The gays may not be getting over their many fears any time soon, but at least they’re still brave enough to shoot their shots at random men on the internet.
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