This insane true story about JK Rowling might just explain everything

For over a decade, trans and queer people have been baffled by children’s author JK Rowling deciding to take up permanent residence on the TERF train, despite having more money than God. Why, we wonder, would someone so rich choose to be so incredibly online?

It’s a question you might ask of any multi-millionaire or billionaire—say, Elon Musk, for one. Most us humble peasants assume that if we had the choice to stay off the Internet, we would! You’d never hear a peep from us if we had enough money to have actual experiences in the real world!

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But after a queer TikToker shared their story of meeting a friend of Rowling’s, things are starting to click in a major way.

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“I have a story about JK Rowling,” explains TikToker @clammy, otherwise known as Clarissa. “And actually you really want to hear it.”

They go on to explain how last year, during a trip to Scotland, they got in an Uber that happened to be driven by someone who knew JK Rowling. After visiting their friend who was studying in Edinburgh—the location of the famous JK Rowling castle—they happened to have a chat with said Uber driver on the way to the airport.

“I was having my solo traveler moment,” they explained, “and I was like, ‘I’m gonna talk to people.'”

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While talking to the charming older Scottish man, it came out that he actually knew JK Rowling and had driven her around a few places. But that wasn’t all.

“This is where I need you to buckle up,” they explain. Here’s where things start to get interesting: A few years ago, the cab/Uber driver had a married friend who, one tragic night coming home from the pub, ended up falling into a lake and drowning. That man’s widow happened to be JK Rowling’s house cleaner, and when the cab driver showed up at his friend’s funeral, there Rowling was, paying her respects. Rowling and the cab driver had a nice chat, and since that time, the cab driver has gotten close with Rowling’s other family members—Edinburgh is a teeny tiny place, y’all. In fact, he’s neighbors with Rowling’s son and even met her grandson as a baby. We’re talking close family friend, people.

Now here’s the tea our cab driver friend had to spill on JK.

“The taxi driver told me,” Clarissa explains, “that JK Rowling has been locked alone in her house for like, 10 years. Her whole family is worried about her. She’s cut everyone off.”

Honestly, this tracks. People who have happy, healthy family lives and allow themselves to touch grass every so often don’t spend the bulk of their time—and finances—trolling trans people on the Internet. It’s just a fact: most people have better things to do.

“What that says to me,” Clarissa says,” is that she’s gone down the incel rabbit hole. This is something we see a lot with men—to me it’s very obvious that she’s too online, and if she were a man, she would be in the incel community hands down.”

This is where things really start clicking. It makes sense to view a professional transphobe like Graham Linehan as part of the sh*tposter to incel pipeline, but since Rowling is a woman, “incel” isn’t the first word that springs to mind. But as this TikToker points out, that’s exactly what she’s doing with this sharp pivot to career transphobia.

“She’s cut herself off from her family and locked herself in her house for a decade,” they explain. “She’s not well!”

It’s true: but that doesn’t mean we can stop holding her accountable for her truly gruesome actions. If JK Rowling wants to live the rest of her life online, that’s her choice. The fact that she’s chosen to die on this particular extremely online hill speaks volumes.