Ugh, so apparently, according to Page Six and other sources, musician Grimes and trans icon Chelsea Manning are dating. Great, wow, cool. Good for them.
As with most news of this type, we could not personally give less of a shit. However, the Internet at large is of a different opinion, so it is our duty to report on the excitement that everyone else apparently feels about this. Hooray.
The minute the news hit the Internet, everyone screamed. Because again, apparently people care?
But perhaps Niko Stratis put it best when she pointed out that Page Six is not exactly known for its…you know, class. Or accuracy.
it is amazing how much discourse is being kicked up because page six reported on two people talking on Twitter, a website where Steak Ums regularly talks to Wendys
— Niko Stratis is afk (@nikostratis) March 11, 2022
Literally Steak Ums discourse would be more interesting than this. The girls are shook, and not in a good way.
This hurts so much. I thought I was dating Grimes. What a fucking way to find out I’m single again. https://t.co/hHmz6d7teW
— April Clark (@autogynefiles) March 11, 2022
Obviously we’re all waiting for Azealia’s take.
Just learned about Grimes and Chelsea Manning. Refreshing Azealia Banks’ Instagram like a monster right now.
— fiona apple neck tattoo (@ChillStableGuy) March 11, 2022
*Doomsday clock clicks one millisecond closer to midnight*
I’m not exaggerating when I say this Grimes/Chelsea Manning news nearly killed me
— Amy (Taylor’s Version) 🧣 (@acharlottew) March 11, 2022
“Grimes and Chelsea Manning are dating.” pic.twitter.com/LO0RNaY2Qf
— Isabella – Strong Arc (@sadsleepygirl23) March 11, 2022
grimes dating chelsea manning doesn’t help the sneaking suspicion that everything in the past two years feels like there’s a gas leak in my apartment and my brain is filling in rapidly expanding blank spots
— Ganser 🌤 (@Ganserband) March 11, 2022
Let the fanfiction begin:
Grimes: good morning Chelsea my wife
Chelsea Manning: hello Grimes
— 🕳⚰️💨 (@hedlike_a_hole) March 11, 2022
This confirms what we’ve all been thinking: the revolution is nigh:
Grimes leaving Elon for Chelsea Manning confirms my grandfather’s theory that reading even a page of Karl Marx can turn you lesbian
— Kate Willett (@katewillett) March 11, 2022
Whatever, we wish them well.
I hope Grimes and Chelsea Manning move to a farm
— Carey O’Donnell (@ecareyo) March 11, 2022