“What If…?” Stans Really Want Agent Coulson to Be Gay

Marvel’s “What If…?” is about a lot of things, most of which I simply do not understand. It’s kind of like a corporate summit of every Marvel character past and present, including Loki, T’Challah, and the Avengers, and they all team up to save the world or whatever. Who cares? The important thing is that there is a canon queer character hidden among the ranks of these boring superheroes, and as usual, it’s INTO’s mission to ferret him out. 

One-time director of S.H.I.E.L.D. (again, no idea) and righthand man to Nick Fury (who?) Agent Coulson is a Marvel standby. But what’s his gay backstory? Well, it would seem that in “What If…?” Coulson’s queerness is front-loaded. He describes Thor, in episode 3, as being “gorgeous” and having “really great hair.”

Okay, consider my eyebrow raised. But what are our other “clues?” 

i just watched episode 3 of ‘what if’ they really said “what if coulson was blatantly gay”

— ray (@spideyydayas) August 28, 2021

When the Asgaudrian died, he soliloquized that “even while rotting, he still smells like lavender.”

Okay, Agent Coulson! Somebody’s going around sniffing the lavender, and if that’s not queer coding, I don’t know what is!

There’s one more exciting item on the docket: The S.H.I.E.L.D. agent’s password: “Hashtag-Steve-Steve-I-Heart-Steve-0-7-0-4.”

#WhatIf
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same agent coulson. same. pic.twitter.com/oiNCWamblI

— disha (@anmolsahuu) August 25, 2021

So does Agent Coulson really heart Steve? Who’s Steve? Well, apparently this is a reference to Steve Rogers aka Captain America, whom Agent Coulson loves. 

This is definitely turning out to be an interesting case. But what’s really behind it? Is this another case of queer-baiting from the Disney/Marvel conglomerate? Are they going to put their money where their mouth is this time? More aptly, are they going to put Agent Coulson’s mouth where the money is?  

Only time will tell. 

what if spoilers
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alternative title for what if episode 3: phil coulson being gay for 30 minutes pic.twitter.com/lPtretJbvv

— Lukey 🐍⏳| doctor strange era (@lokis_sceptre) August 25, 2021