On a surface level, lesbians and straight men have one big thing in common: an interest in women. But as the discourse around a viral post reveals, that might not be enough to make peace between the two demographics.

The debate began with a post from X user Kirschen (@schlafenkirsche), expressing that we should all find a way to get over our differences. “I think lesbians and heterosexual men should get along over their mutual fondness for women,” reads their viral post, which has more than 12.4 million views as of this article’s publication.

But the rest of social media — especially lesbians — was quick to point out that  “sexual attraction” and “fondness” aren’t synonyms. In fact, saying that straight men are generally “fond” of women couldn’t be further from the truth, they say, if violence against women and casual misogyny are anything to go by. As one user put it, “Lesbians love women like sunflowers love the sun & men love women like anteaters love ants.”

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Several users pointed out real-life cases of men perpetrating violence against queer women, from an assault on public transit in London to a murder by an ex-boyfriend in South Africa.

Does that mean there’s no such thing as a loving heterosexual couple? Of course not — but on average, folks across the internet see a clear divide between lesbians and straight men, and it will take more than a mutual attraction to women to close the gap.

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