The gays are asking: what happens when a guy is too hot?

It’s always exciting when you strike the jackpot while dating. There’s a certain thrill to knowing that you’re dating someone who’s just slightly out of your league: it feels like you’re getting away with something. You can’t believe that someone this hot could actually go for you. And then you start to think: hey, maybe I am hot after all! Maybe I’ve been hot all along, just like in The Wizard of Oz!

But it can also be nerve-wracking. For instance, consider the case of the man who took home a perfect 10, and ended up too paralyzed with anxiety to score.

“I was so in my head,” wrote the lucky/unlucky guy on Reddit, “and I was having trouble reconciling my own insecurities with the belief/acceptance that this gorgeous guy was actually wanting to have sex with me. It was almost like he felt too out of my league.”

Related:

This Hugh Jackman scene in ‘X-Men 2’ made people gay

‘X2’ (known internationally as ‘X-Men 2’) is the reason behind several queer awakenings and this clip proves it.

Culture, unfiltered

Twice a week, our newsletter will bring you the pulse of queer culture, from the tastemakers to the groundbreakers.

Wondering if others in the same position have had problems getting hard when faced with a veritable Adonis in the bedroom, this user sought answers.

Now some of the responses—true to Reddit—were more tongue-in-cheek than instructive. “Starting from now,” one redditor wrote, “when guys struggle to become aroused by me, I’ll attribute it to my undeniable attractiveness.”

But others wrote back in earnest: this isn’t an isolated problem, and apparently it happens quite often.

“I’ve been in the same situation,” wrote another user. “I’ve been so turned on I can’t stay hard.” Another explained that, “every now and then, a guy who is an absolute 10 in my books will hit me up and I’ll be in disbelief that he’s into me at all.” He continued, saying: “I usually get really anxious and take a boner pill before meeting up with them so I don’t run into this issue at all. Especially as a top, the expectation to perform can really get in the way of, you know, actually performing.”

It would seem to be a conundrum, but it really does happen: sometimes being too hot can actually be a detriment to having sex.

One user, however, had a helpful tip. “Our dicks are fantastic beings,” he explained, “and sometimes they get a little flustered, when we are all in our heads instead in the moment and just enjoying ourselves and pounding.” To counteract this, he suggested doing a general vibe check. “The times it has happened with me, I just checked if everything was in working order by watching some p*rn. Then the next step is to hookup or make love with another guy. I tell myself that c*ming and f*cking isn’t the main thing about sex. If it happens fantastic and if it doesn’t fantastic too. That takes pressure of my d*ck to perform.”

Others suggested a few remedies, including trying to take the focus away from the penis and focusing more on touch and generalized sensation. Some said that trying to laugh about it was helpful, as it took the pressure off in the moment. Some suggested sticking to oral.

But perhaps the best remark was also the simplest. “It happens! Don’t worry about it is the main thing.”

Basically, in the words of another poster, dicks can be “real dicks” sometimes. The best way to deal with performance anxiety is often to take your mind off the performance itself, and remember that you’re just a human, with a human body that sometimes likes to rebel its owner. And even if you think you’re alone in this situation, you’re not. It’s happened to the best of us, and will keep happening as long as there are hot, hot studs in this world.