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Remember when Colin Farrell almost outed Tom Cruise in an interview?

Twitter may broken, but it can still account for a fair share of weird delights in the meantime. For instance, did you know that Colin Farrell—sh*t stirrer that he is—once confirmed Tom Cruise’s sexuality on camera in the messiest way possible?

I didn’t either, until today when my world was completely rocked by a single clip posted in response to the Twitter prompt, “what is the most insane thing someone has said during an interview?”

Now there were plenty of hot contenders, including the time Stevie Nicks talked about the best day of her life or when Cillian Murphy barely escaped talking about joining the mile high club. But I think we can all agree that Colin Farrell won this round.

At a press junket for Farrell’s 2002 film Hart’s War, in which he costarred with Bruce Willis as a World War II lieutenant, an interviewer posed a surprising question to the young Irishman. Running through a list of celebrities, the journalist asked Farrell about how they identify. When they land on Tom Cruise, things get very interesting, very quickly.

“Gayaaahstraight,” says Farrell, who instantly corrects himself saying “I don’t know why I said ‘gay‘!”

Sweetheart we don’t either, but we do have some theories. The intrepid journalist keeps probing Farrell as to his Freudian slip, and things just get weirder from there.

“No one has a perfect gaydar,” Farrell says, “but I have a pretty good one.”

Which makes the momentary slip-up even more interesting…

“I’ve met gay guys that are more butch than [Cruise,] but I definitely think he’s straight.”

It’s iconic: it’s vintage Farrell. The charming weirdness of the response, the way he seems to not fully believe his own statement. And we’re not the only ones who watched this clip and felt that the lady doth protest too much…

There are exactly two sexualities: gay, and gayaaahstraight.

Now the only question we have is…what did Farrell know that we don’t? Tom Cruise has been battling gay allegations for nearly the entire span of his much-too-long career, and publicly so. It was even the deathbed confession of mobster Johnny Fratto that Cruise is all the way straight…despite the fact that no one asked?

Back in 2001, adult actor Chad Slater tried to out Cruise, who promptly slapped him $100 million lawsuit in response. The suit itself included some intriguing language.  While Cruise “believes in the right of others to follow their own sexual preference,” it stated, “vast numbers of the public throughout the world do not share that view and, believing that he had a homosexual affair and did so during his marriage, they will be less inclined to patronize Cruise’s films, particularly since he tends to play parts calling for heterosexual romance and action adventure.”

So there you have it. Whether you’re gay, bisexual, pansexual, sapphic, or gayaaahstraight, one thing is clear: if you try to imply that Tom Cruise is anything less than a 100% hetero bro, you’ll probably have the pants sued off you. Unless you’re Colin Farrell.

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