Stick Shift

This video of Mike Pence thirsting after a farmer is so sad it’s funny

The phrase “want me to work that thing for you?” is destined to live in infamy in the gay minds and hearts of Americans everywhere. Ever since a certain clip of Republican gremlin and Presidential hopeful Mike Pence started circulating, queer folks have been raising eyebrows over an interaction between Pence and a certain hot farmer on a campaign stop in Iowa.

The clip goes a little something like this: Pence takes a seat next to a farmer on his trusty tractor and immediately starts spitting game. “Want me to work that for ya?” Pence asks suggestively, moving the clutch back and forth. This remark warrants no response from the farmer, who asks if Pence wants to take a “ride” on the tractor. Sadly, Pence explains as a staffer snaps an awkward photo, they have to keep moving. But Pence doesn’t move before commenting: “that’s a little bigger than my John Deere” and awkwardly slapping the man on the chest.

As other commenters have pointed out, the clip is so gay it hurts. If it was anyone but Mike “Beelzebub” Pence, it would be downright tragic—who among us hasn’t entertained a Samantha Jones-type farmer boy fantasy? But the fact that it’s Pence, a man who’s made his career off of trying his best to strip LGBTQ+ Americans of our human rights, makes it pure comedy. This is what denial looks like.

He may have transitioned into being Trump’s enemy (a step in the right direction) but the queer community hasn’t forgotten what an absolute ghoul this man is.

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