Hey, look! It’s a new trailer for another Jurassic Park movie where a bunch of people risk their lives to go to a secluded island full of dinosaurs instead of not going to a secluded island full of dinosaurs and staying at home where they would probably be fine!
“What could go wrong?” asks Chris Pratt’s Owen Grady in the new trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, per Rolling Stone.
Uh, I don’t know, OWEN. Fucking everything????
This brand new movie’s got a brand new plot, I’m convinced of it. From the looks of the trailer, there’s a volcano exploding on the island this time and Bryce Dallas Howard’s Claire Dearing is like, “We’ve gotta save the dinos.”
But, like do you? Are you sure?
“Do these animals deserve the same protections as other species,” asks another character later on in the trailer, “or should they be left to die?”
Left to die! Left to die!
The movie, the fifth installment in the Jurassic Park franchise overall, won’t hit theaters until June of next year, which is a moderately long time. Despite all my shit-talking, I will be there. The T-Rex and the velociraptors are female, and I support strong female charactersespecially the ones that are strong enough to tear a bunch of idiot humans apart as punishment for their bad decisions.