Everyone’s favorite child actress Mara Wilson is talking about her decision to come out as bisexual.
In an interview on the podcast “LGBTQ&A,” Wilson spoke about her own bisexuality and what kept her from coming out, Gay Star News reports. The actress came out as bisexual in 2016 following the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, Florida.
But the LGBTQ community has always felt like home, especially a few years later when I, uh, learned something about myself.
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) June 12, 2016
“I didn’t feel growing up that being gay or bisexual was the worst thing ever, but I did feel the stigma in a different way,” Wilson said. “A lot of times I would hear: ‘Bisexual girls are crazy and they just want attention’ and people already told me I was crazy and I wanted attention.”
Wilson also spoke about the dream she had in her early twenties that made her realize she was bisexual.
“When I was about 22 or 23, I had a dream about a guy that I had a crush on. In that dream, somebody I had a crush on as a teenager came to me and it was a girl. I looked from one to the other and I realized I felt the same way about them,” she said. She also said she was “gaslighting” herself for a long time about her own queerness. She finally came out to a therapist.
“I told her I [had] got really annoyed [the previous] night over something. This guy at a bar was being really annoying hitting on a girlfriend of mine. She let me through this, asking me why. I said, ‘I guess it’s because I like her’ and she asked me what it meant. I started sobbing and told her, ‘Maybe I’m bisexual, maybe I’m not straight.’”
Wilson said when she came out, friends had already suspected she was bisexual. However, she said she’s had “impostor syndrome” around her own sexuality because of gatekeepers in the LGBTQ community.
“You just don’t feel comfortable accepting who you are. I feet it was almost like that with my [sexual] orientation as well,” she said. “I remember being with bisexual friends, I said ‘I think I might be bisexual’ and a friend of mine, who’s not a friend anymore, said, ‘No, you’re not.’ She was a gaykeeper.”
She added, “Once I got away from that, I think that I was able to be happy […] and to relax a little bit more. I was not holding my breath so much. I could finally breathe fully.’
The actress also spoke about the special connection LGBTQ fans have with her film Matilda.
“I had a guy tell me once: ‘Your movie was how my mum knew I was gay.’ And I have had so many LGBTI women tell me how much they loved Matilda because it was about feeling different but finding your place and finding your own family,” she said.
She also is aware that many queer women have a crush on Miss Honey, but she could never — “She was like a sister to me!”