Never trust a Black person who talks like an old white man impersonating Black people in 2017 based on a 90-second clip of an episode of Yo! MTV Raps shot in 1989.
For those of you unfamiliar with Hazel-E, first and foremost: how dare you deprive yourself of the splendor that is Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood? That aside, she is the class clown of a show chock full of clownishness, but now she has exposed herself to be an even bigger fool than any of her critics ever pegged her for. Now, part of Hazel-E’s storyline this season on LHHH has been centered on her new boyfriend – a man who goes by the name Rose Burgundy. Supposedly, he raps or something and apparently this is the best she could do after dating Katt Williams (yes, I know how that sounds and I mean every word of it). We met Rose Burgundy kissing Hazel-E’s ass cheeks, but allegedly, he may be kissing on boy butt, too.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that – insert mischievous grin and the chopped and screwed version of Rihanna’s “Sex With Me” here. Additionally, the internet tells me that internet personality Camyonce, also claims that Burgundy planned to cheat on Hazel with comedian Jess Hilarious.
Who are these people? Based on my most recent experience using Google, you’ll have the following reaction: “OH YEAH! THE ONE FROM THAT IG VIDEO MY COUSIN POSTED ON FACEBOOK AND THE OTHER ONE WHO WAS IN THAT VIDEO MY HOMEGIRL SENT IN THE GROUP CHAT!”
In any event, if the rumors of his bisexuality and cheating are false, it is not cool to spread fabrication. Yet, what is even more uncool (you are encouraged to hear that in Countess LuAnn’s voice) is the manner in which Hazel-Please Quit Being So Corny and Rose Favorite Hood Girl Ponytail Color handled the rumors.
On his Instagram, Burgundy responded to the rumors by posting a picture of an inflamed rainbow flag with the following caption: “You really want to know how I feel about gays so bad well here you go I hope all gays die and go to hell thats where I’m come from Bitch check your lies before you post.”
In the comments, you can see Hazel-E, allegedly from Houston but neither I or Brooke Valentine (also on the show, and yes, the girl who sings the iconic thot bop “Girlfight”) or Beyoncé know her, write, “Burn in hell just like God said in the Bible!”
Moving on, in a separate post, Hazel wrote her own response to the rumors about that man she supports monetarily to the dismay of her Mama who appeared on the show: “Y’all making up posts, I’m stating facts. Go read the Bible, google self hatred amongst black women then come holla at this Queen.”
She went on to post since-deleted photos of Jess and other dark-skinned Black women referring to Jess as a “raggedy broke black ass bitch” and a “monkey.”
What kind of Black person calls another Black person a monkey? In Trump’s America, no less! A damn fool who confuses her lighter skin with a high standard of beauty not exemplified by her externally or internally. No shade.
Burgundy’s account is now private, but we’re not about to let this shit go. As far as Dusty Rose is concerned, he can suck 17 ashy dicks and drown in a lake of fire for all I care. The tattoos on your body are sinful according to the Bible. As is your pre-marital fornication. Then you have to couple with the fact that you are a de facto gigolo, which makes you Trap Mary Magdalene sans the friend in Jesus.
Hazel-E is the most offensive, though, because she has been friends with a former gay cast member of the show. Sadly, there are some women who love to surround themselves wtih gay men, but the very second they feel aggrieved by one, the homophobia surfaces and they spew out vitriol. Hazel, you of all people do not want to invoke the Bible to belittle people.
Hazel-E has since offered a bullshit apology. Let her tell it, while she does not justify his actions, and in hindsight, realizes her man went about expressing his frustration the wrong way, the post of a burning pride flag and the condemnation to hell was only meant for the person who “fabricated documents.” Moreover, she apologized and said it was not her intent to be so hurtful.
Oh yeah, she loves the LGBTQ community because they “support her,” not to mention “My hair, my makeup, this glam.” That right there is telling: she likes queer people in the context of being in service of her and her vanity. However, when angered, she reveals her prejudices.
To wit, when it came to the Bible: “I mean, I don’t think that the Bible says that gays should burn in hell. I say that the Bible does speak on homosexuality and I can’t rewrite the Bible for the things that it says in it. That’s what it says.”
She goes on to say that she doesn’t know if two men sleeping together end up in hell and that is for God to decide.
Girl, f*ck you.
In fact, you, a materialistic lame who thinks a car, a bag, and any other possession you own (or rent) makes you superior to other, less well-off folks can f*ck off seven times. You, who have chopped and screwed your face like you are a traveling exhibit dedicated to Mrs. Potato Head. Like, I don’t have a problem with cosmetic surgery and would usually forgo hitting someone on their aesthetics, but how dare you, you big ass bird.
By the way, you are on Love and Hip Hop. I love this franchise, Lord knows I do, but I’ll be damned if some person who exists on a show largely centered on entertaining, albeit needless, conflict and foolery condemn me and mine to hell based on dubious interpretations of dogma – especially when these said interpretations would have her in a cot right next to me in hell.
In sum, f*ck her man, f*ck her, f*ck her apology, and f*ck the both of them today, f*ck you tomorrow, and f*ck you every day after that. And don’t ever try to book a Pride event in your future because little do you seem to know, the queers are the only folks who would even bother entertaining you as an artist. Word to Ray J’s sperm count.
See you both in hell.