Five Nights at Meggy's

Meghan McCain is terrified of Chuck-E-Cheese for this unhinged reason

Let’s face it: here in the land of the free, the terrorists can strike at any time. At least, that’s what the former The View host Meghan McCain thinks, along with every other Fox News-pilled talking head who still believes the “War on Terror” was a real thing.

But for once, at least, McCain isn’t completely to blame for her singularly bonkers opinion: in a recent episode of McCain’s podcast, she opened up about how her husband’s utterly looney tunes view of the world made her terrified to enter a Chuck-E-Cheese.

Now look, there are plenty of reasons to be afraid of Chuck-E-Cheese as an establishment: there’s the primordial layers of child grime, the helicopter bikes, and perhaps most sinister of all, the rumor that the establishment might reuse unfinished slices of pizza. But that’s not what has McCain and husband quaking in their boots. It’s the possibility of a terrorist attack at one of the family-fun centers.

That’s right: at Chuck-E-Cheese, the terror alert is always on orange.

Honestly this would be sad if it weren’t the funniest thing on Earth. Did Meghan McCain think Five Nights at Freddy’s was a documentary?

In the midst of a world-shaking humanitarian crisis, some people are worried about whether they’ll make it through the night without being bombed or thrown in a concentration camp. Meghan McCain is worried about the terrorists hiding a bomb in the stuffed crust.

Honestly, we have a lot of questions about the husband…

Justice for Charles Entertainment Cheese, a true American!

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